This very early morning, the police were informed by a law-abiding citizen of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania that a homeless family had settled in his barn. The sheriff immediately dispatched a patrol to the scene. Upon arrival at the scene, the detective found a newborn in a barn and reported to the sheriff.
The couple, who claimed to be the parents on their way from Evil Empire of Eurasia to Egypt to save the baby Jesus from the coming new Little Ice Age in the USA and persecution by governer Augustus. Joseph Nazareth and his minor companion Mary (presumably the mother) were immediately checked for infectious diseases, vaccinated, report sent to CDC, and placed in police custody.
When the officers discovered and reported that a newborn baby was wrapped in pieces of cloth without proper hygiene precautions, sleeping on straw bedding, the sheriff promptly notified FDA of the fact.
Joseph has identified himself as a carpenter looking for a job in Bethlehem Steel, Inc. turned into a casino. The alleged parents, Joseph and Mary, desperately resisted the officers taking the child to a safe place.
Joseph Nazareth was accompanied by local Cowboys who claimed to be the Shepherds and three undocumented migrants suspected in the illegal crossing of the Mexican or Canadian borders. They were posing as magi Melchior, Caspar, and Balthasar, guided by a superstar, allegedly from Babylon, Mesopotamia. They were arrested and the Agencies FBI, NSA, and CIA instructed to check the facts. The Cowboys were fined for misdemeanor and sent off to graze their sheep.
Pilate publicly wondered about the origin of these three men and issued subpoenas and warrants. The sheriff of Bethlehem colonel Smith confirmed that they didn’t have neither identity papers nor visas but were in possession of gold undeclared to USA customs as well as illicit products that were sent to a lab for further analysis.
The police suspect the group was consuming narcotics, probably brought in by three migrants from alleged Babylon. These men refused to answer questions from the police, claiming God told them not to. Pilate ordered to deport these illegal immigrants to Babilon.
Deportation warrant couldn’t be executed as both GPS search and Air Force recognizance drones failed to localize the city of Babilon in Iraq. Therefore the suspects were transferred to Guantanamo, Cuba for intensive interrogation.
According to the local child protection agency in charge of the case, the father would be in his fifties while the mother is certainly not of age. She is currently at Bethlehem University Hospital for medical and psychiatric examinations. The place where the newborn is currently located has not been communicated.
She claims to be a virgin and says the baby comes from God. If her mental state allows, the woman may be indicted for non-assistance to a person in danger. Saliva, blood samples, fingerprints were taken, and the DNA tests needed for the investigation were performed.
At the latest news, we learn that the Cowboys (shepherds) present on the scene claim to have seen a big man dressed in white, who ordered them to go to the barn, before flying away mysteriously. No hypothesis on how that mysterious man escaped is currently ruled out, with some witnesses testifying that he fled on his UFO to the Evil Empire of Eurasia.
The Democrat minority has signaled its outrage regarding the lack of sufficient means of protection for the prevention of UFOs of the Evil Empire of Eurasia from violating USA airspace. They insist on a bipartisan congressional inquiry.
Several ecologist party surrogates also tweeted to remind people that making a wood fire in a barn should be avoided as a source of pollution according to the EPA rules.
The White House responded that it has opened many new places of residence since the elections, to avoid leaving families in the streets, noting the previous President had been actively seeking to remove housing for poor families.
Follow live on Fox News … and tune in to our special debate at 5:30 pm, on the theme “Can we still give birth in a barn these days? ” in the presence of several distinguished guests from Stanford, Harvard, Yale, and MIT.
We are just receiving breaking news regarding the medical examination of the couple: the minor girl was confirmed to be a virgin, indicating the homeless couple cannot be the parents as they previously claimed. It is our understanding they will now be held on charges of child abduction… a crime carrying sentences of up to 30 years of imprisonment.”
The consensual world history is a finely-woven magic fabric of intricate lies about events predating the sixteenth century we are happy to live with. There is not a single piece of evidence that can be irrefutably and independently dated earlier than the eleventh century. Radiocarbon and dendrochronological dating are manipulated by the mainstream historians. The Antiquity and subsequent Dark Ages fables were created by the concerted effort of the aristocracy, clergy, and humanists in XV-XVII centuries. Time to face the realities?
.If we are not able to ask skeptical questions, to interrogate those who tell us that something is true, to be skeptical of those in authority, then, we are up for grabs for the next charlatan (political or religious) who comes rambling along. Dr. Carl Sagan
The second coming of Jesus, Buddha, and Krishna to the Evil Empire
About the Author: Dr.Fomenko, Anatoly. Born in 1945. Full Member (Academician) of the Russian Academy of Sciences, Full Member of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, Full Member of the International Higher Education Academy of Sciences, Doctor of Physics and Mathematics, Professor, Head of the Moscow State University Department of Mathematics and Mechanics. Solved the classical Plateau s Problem from the theory of minimal spectral surfaces. Author of the theory of invariants and topological classification of integrable Hamiltonian dynamic systems. Laureate of the 1996 National Premium in Mathematics of the Russian Federation for a cycle of works on the Hamiltonian dynamic system multitude invariance theory. Author of 180 scientific publications, 26 monographs, and textbooks on mathematics, a specialist in geometry and topology, variational calculus, symplectic topology, Hamiltonian geometry and mechanics, computational geometry. Author of a number of books on the development of new empirical-statistical methods and their application to the analysis of historical chronicles as well as the chronology of Antiquity and the Middle Ages.