Jesus and Moses were hanging out in Heaven one day when they got to discussing their mutual boredom.
Moses said, “Hey Jesus, you know what we haven’t done in a while? Go down to Earth and perform some miracles.”
Jesus thought that was a great idea, so the two of them hopped onto a cloud and floated down to a city.
“What miracle would you like to perform first?” asked Moses.
“I think I’ll walk on water,” replied Jesus. “Last time I did that the people really went wild!”
So Jesus walked to the edge of a lake surrounded by hundreds of people, took a step onto the water …
And promptly sank.
Confused, he stepped out of the water, tried again …
And sank for the second time.
He turned to Moses and said, “I don’t know what’s wrong. Last time I did this it worked like a charm!”
To which Moses replied, “Well Jesus, you have to remember: last time you did this you didn’t have holes in your feet.”
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past. — George Orwell, 1984